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Tuesday, July 31, 2007

this is not a happy post

Do you ever feel like you're digging in your nails trying to keep from being dragged backwards into a swirling vortex of unpleasantness but it's not doing any good and all you're doing is making giant scratches in the floor that you're going to have to fix later?

That's kind of how I feel.

Incidentally, I was right -- no Installation Guy yesterday. Don says his dad is coming over on Thursday to help with the wiring and we'll call after that. It's supposed to be in the 90s this week, with the usual high humidity.

I tried to clean the bathtub today, in a fit of morality and cleanliness. It wouldn't drain, and I managed to make it dirtier. Sitting on the bathroom floor in my underwear and trying not to cry hysterically because of a stupid bathtub made me think that perhaps, just a little, I'm overwhelmed.

We have money issues, contractor issues, family issues, relationship issues, job issues, and probably issue issues. I just want to go stay someplace where bathtubs and sinks and various mechanical devices all work, and where I don't have to wear shoes because there are nails everywhere, and where the temperature is the same in the entire house, and where there aren't piles of tools blocking doorways, and where there isn't always something waiting for me to do or finish.

Probably a pipe dream. A clogged bathtub pipe dream.


Alex said...

Sounds to me like you need to take a breather. Even if it's just a night at a friend's air conditioned place. Home projects are tedious because you're living there, constantly reminded of the progress (or lack thereof). Take a sanity break. You'll be more refreshed when you return.

danielle said...

oh. honey. u do deserve a break. the responsibilities u have taken on amaze me. most people would be even more stressed with less. u can stay at my place anytime. really. there's a sofa bed. and gizmo might even be cuddly. most everything works and u don't have to wear shoes. the temp. is different in different rooms 'cause the window a/c units, but u can make it whatever temp u want!

let me know if i can help at all. i unclogged my own bathtub with a hanger. roommate's hair. it was icky.


Crystal said...

It'll be ok! Deep breaths...and I agree...take a hiatus. Like a mini vacation that isn't a vacation. Maybe stay at a parent's house for the weekend, relax, try to at least.
It isn't a vortex yet...

And if you ever need anything, or just someone you can rant on and on to...you've got my number.

Anonymous said...

Blog-lurker here, who is year 3 of a DIY to-the-studs whole (old) house remodel. (The worst is thankfully done, now we're in the burnt-out-who-needs-baseboard-anyway ? phase of things)

Absolutely take a mini-break. Even if all you can manage is an evening at the local bookstore reading something frivolous while drinking your beverage of choice. Seriously.

Once you're a little refreshed, I've found a couple of things that help me cope...

1. Pick a small non-construction house project that's been making you crazy and DO IT! My husband will never understand why he found me cleaning out kitchen cupboards when there were rooms without floors (ahem), but I need to be able to point at something that *looks good* and say "I DID THAT, AND IT'S FINISHED." (That last bit is the most important)

2. Designate a room, or part of a room if that's all you can manage, to be a construction-free zone. Clean it thoroughly. Make it relatively organized and as attractive as possible (we're not talking repainting or decorating here, unless you've got a room that's at this stage of finish work anyway). Threaten death to anyone who leaves tools/supplies in the room for more than an hour (since I fully understand that some projects - especially HVAC-type or electric - have to spill into the whole house at times). Spend time in this room everyday. Remind yourself that there are people who have a Whole House like this, and you will soon be one of them.

Hang in there!